I know I have mentioned this before, how weepy eyed I become whenever I watch any children’s program. This time I am specifically talking about the Children's program that we watched at church the other night.
This time around it was a little different as my emotions were pulled in two different directions.
Half the time I was thinking that Bella should be up there, she should be able to enjoy putting on a Christmas program for her family and friends. Would she be the child that was shy and just standing up there? Would she be the child that was constantly waving at her parents the whole time? Would she be the child that was proud of herself and singing every word and doing every action?
The other half of the time I was thinking that Oliver would be up there signing next year. And the songs were simple and cute enough, I knew that if he had been up there this year he would already know all the words and actions. He does pretty well with memorizing kids songs.
But pretty much the whole time I had tears in my eyes, just ready to spill over as I kept telling myself “Get it together Kristen, there is no reason to cry”. “Eyes, dry yourself out, there is no reason to cry”.
I wonder if it will ever get easier. I wonder what will happen next year when I am watching my son, starting to do all the things I wanted my daughter to be able to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment