Erin's Wedding

Here are a couple of pictures of Bella hanging out right before Erin and David's ceremony.


This post is hard to write, but I vowed to be honest.

This past weekend we were up in Nebraska attending my sister Erin's wedding (and David's too). It was a beautiful wedding and we all had a good time. But it also was very difficult and depressing. Everyone kept asking me why I was so serious as I walked up the aisle, I was the Matron of Honor. I didn't realize I was being so serious, but I have a feeling I know why.

Bella.

Bella was having a hard time that weekend. She was fussy and crabby pretty much the whole time. She wasn't content to do anything. And of course she woke up early and wouldn't nap, which just adds insult to injury. We tried to take her to the rehearsal dinner on Friday night, so people could see her. But she fussed and cried the whole time. Luckily we had arranged for Jesse's parents to watch her if needed the night of the wedding. And it was pretty apparent that it was going to be needed. She barely made it through the wedding, and afterwards was fussing and crying again. So we didn't even bother taking her to the reception and had Jesse's parents come right over. We thank them for that, as we were able to enjoy the dinner and dance.

But why was the weekend so depressing. Well because it was Bella's aunts wedding and she should have been able to participate more in the wedding. Erin made her an honorary flower girl. But it was still sad that she couldn't walk down the aisle and be the cute little girl dropping the flowers. Or maybe being the shy little girl who didn't want to walk down the aisle alone. Or maybe she wouldn't drop the flowers and would keep them all too herself. We will never know.

And she couldn't be one of the little girls dancing and enjoying the music. Taking over the dance floor during the important dances, because they are having a great time and can't be persuaded to get off the dance floor. No not Bella, she couldn't even be in a good enough mood to see family that doesn't ever get to see her, not for a little bit, let alone all night long.

So that is why is was depressing and sad for me. For all the opportunities that Bella will miss out on. Luckily on most, she won't even be aware that she is missing them. But rest assured Jesse and I are painfully aware.