My current nightmare

So I spent a couple hrs this weekend working on this dining room project. All would be going wonderfully if I wouldn't have run out of premixed mortar, made a batch myself that was drying too quickly, and didn't have 24" wide tile that I needed to place over a dip in the floor in one spot and a crown in the floor in another spot. Fricken projects. I plan to walk on the tile tomorrow and see if any around the crown area pop... If so, I will exchange a couple more not so nice words with my newest nemesis...the dining room. I thought for sure I could get the rest of the non cut required pieces laid today, but the mortar I mixed up had other plans for me... Nothing I did was going easy. So the room sits now slightly over halfway complete. I will be picking up some premixed mortar tomorrow... I don't care it's 3x the price cause I don't have to waste my time mixing it and cleaning all those tools used to mix it. In the end it's still cheaper than a contractor.
During one of my rants, I very calmly (insert sarcasm here), told Kristen I would not be going with her to the caregivers group today. After settling down for a couple hours I decided it would be best if I still went. Today we touched on the topic of depression and what sends a person to the "pit". How fitting... Because just hours prior I found myself yet once again overwhelmed by the projects that this house has in store for me and the struggles I have with even the most minor ones. Ohh to hear people complain about having to paint...I would give anything to just have to paint... But it's not anyone's fault but my own for taking on all of these projects. That's the thing... I stress more about this house and getting it done than I do about Bella. I just have to remind myself that life is too short to worry about this stupid crap and not worry so much about tiles being misaligned. Being a perfectionist sucks... And a pessimistic perfectionist is all the more fun for Kristen and the kids.
I hope that by acknowledging my faults, I can work on fixing them before my son becomes just like his father... Who is currently too busy playing with his choo choo inside of a mega blocks container. Maybe I should model my behavior after that of a kid without a worry in the world and life would be much better for everyone in my life.
Have a good week.
Jesse