Home Depot Paul

this is a post by jesse...

I like Home Depot... more so than Lowes.  The workers seem to know more when I have questions and I dont feel more confused after talking with them.  Nothing against those who work at Lowes, thats just my opinion based on numerous experiences.  I also tend to find what I"m looking for at Home Depot... I dont know how many times I've gone to Lowes with one thing on my list, and they are out, and when I ask somebody, they either dont know what I'm talking about or it takes 15 minutes for them to track down somebody else to tell me they are out and check back in a couple days.  Every time this happens, I leave the store cussing at myself because 

#1 I was hopeful this time would be different and they would actually have what I needed in stock

#2 I did not say "No" when a worker approached me asking if I needed help finding something

Anywho... enough on that issue.  Today the whole family took a trip to Home Depot in Overland Park.  It was an exciting outing as I needed to pick up a couple light switch covers and an outlet cover for the guest bedroom/sewing room we are working on.  We also needed to walk through the door aisles looking for a patio door that was reasonably priced but not a piece of crapper.  Whenever we have Bella with us, we always venture down the lighting aisles, as that is her favorite.  Oliver doesnt care where we are, just wants to be walking around and stopping to stare at people.  He will just stop 5 feet from someone and stare at them until we make him move on... kind of cracks me up to see people's different reactions.

Well on our way from the lighting dept to the doors, we met Paul.  He was coming out from the breakroom area in the back.  I was chasing after Oliver as Kristen was pushing Bella.  Bella was looking up to the right as she often does.  Paul walked by  us four, but quickly turned around and returned to Bella and said "hello".  Bella's head was down at this time, but instead of looking at Paul, she returned her gaze up to the right.  

Paul was an older gentlemen, I"m guessing around 70.  He had a full gray beard, glasses, and not a lot of hair up top.  When I see these older gentlemen working at Home Depot, I always assume they enjoy working and are very handy individuals who are just passing time because that's what they like to do.  I could be totally off, and some probably need to be working just to get by because wall street / government has screwed them out of their retirement, but I wont vent on that issue tonight.  Back to Paul... he continued to greet Bella with "hello" as he crouched down to her level and smiled at her.  Paul commented that he felt compelled to acknowledge Bella, because most people avoid the situation all together.  By situation, he meant "normal" people vs. "handicap" people interaction.  

As you walk around with Bella, you get many interesting looks.  Usually when I'm jogging with Bella, people smile, but they usually dont have long to stare at Bella because I'm traveling at such high velocity.  However, when you are walking around with Bella in public, you catch many interesting glances.  I've felt compelled on a couple different occasions to comment.  I may or may not have asked a gentlemen who stared at Bella for about 1 minute as I stared at him to see how long he would continue looking at her... "did you want her to pose for a picture?"... he smiled and looked away.  Back to Paul...

He commented that he knew exactly how it was to walk around with a handicap child because he once had one.  We did not get her name but I wish we would have.   I asked Paul if they knew that she was handicapped when they adopted her.... thats when he opened up... Paul told us about his family... his first wife and him adopted this 3 day old baby who was crossed eyed and had club feet.  He said that back in the 60s, the doctors didnt know what they know now, and just told them that everything would fix itself, referring to the crossed eyes.  He told us that his daughter lived to be 43 and had just passed away a couple months ago.  He said she had cerebral palsy, mental retardation, and was also autistic.  This was their life, caring for this severely handicapped child.  We could relate... so we listened as Paul got teary eyed occasionally and we could tell, had needed to get this off his chest and to talk with someone that could relate.  His wife had left him at some point as she could no longer handle the emotional stress of the situation, and he turned into a workaholic to keep his mind occupied.  

I did my best to listen, but Oliver was everywhere during this 10 minute conversation, so Kristen was participating more than I.

Paul said things were really tough with their second child, another daughter.  As even though she had an older sister, she didn't.  It was tough for them all.  He wished that his younger daughter would have had another sibling to interact with, and regrettably told us that had he known back then what he does now, he would not have proceeded with the adoption.  I felt bad... he seemed alone and I wanted to invite him over for dinner to talk some more.  I have so many questions that I know he can't answer specifically but might be able to give me an idea of what to expect.  I hope that Bella will prove me wrong and no offense to Paul, but I dont want to be a  70 year old divorcee working at Home Depot wishing that my life would have been different, in particular, that I didnt have a handicapped child... even though life is very difficult at times.

As we left Paul, I shook his hand and he said "good luck".  I hope that is not the last of him.  I plan to stop by again and I will probably ask if he is working so maybe the two of us can talk some more.  

After we left, Kristen commented that Paul must have been put in our paths to convince us that we need to continue our family, as that exact scenario... a little boy that has an older sister, but one he cant communicate or play with (once again I hope I'm wrong)... has been brought up on more than one occasion.  So hopefully we can continue to give both kids, and ourselves, what God intended for our lives.